So I’ve been toying with doing another competition on June 9th. I started the diet for two days convinced that doing just one more competition was a good idea, but I’ve gone off and decided it’s not the best of ideas.
My logic for doing another show was that maybe if I did the strict diet, the proper tan, and kept training hard that I would be able to prove my theory that although I didn’t do well at my first show I could at least prove to myself that I really would be good at this (whether I liked it or not). Also, I wanted to see if the energy of the show made a difference because if I tried the show again and liked it then maybe I’d continue, but I would never be certain unless I tried one more show.
After thinking about I came to the decision not to continue and here’s why. My ultimate goal was to inspire people and make a difference in their lives. I can do that through personal training. If opportunities arise to do modelling, then that would be amazing but I’m not going to persue bikini competitions with the hope that I might get the publicity down the road when the act of posing on stage bores me. Frankly the bikini division is a little derogatory anyway. But the deciding factor came from thinking about the diet and how I’ve felt the passed three weeks. I’ve felt weak, tired, and not myself. I’ve never felt more confident than the day after my show and then today when I came to the realization that I’m very confident in myself and my looks. I’m proud of my progress, still believe that I looked better than all the girls on the stage May 12th and that by eating a healthy diet I can reach my own personal goals.
One of the reasons I fell in love with CrossFit was that all the competition is against yourself - Beat your time or your weight. Sure there’s competition against others, but ultimately the goal is to improve yourself. I think it’s more honorable and inspiring to be strong, fit and sexy by eating a healthy diet and pumping iron rather than an unhealthy, half/starving diet. There’s a real problem when fruit is considered a cheat meal and you can’t even have a cheat meal when preparing for a competition. So that’s my decision. I’m not opposed to competitions, but I don’t need to compete. Maybe down the road if I’ve put on some more muscle and I’m feeling adventurous I might try it again, but I doubt it. You never know.
At the end of the day though, I’m really proud that I went through with this endeavor. It’s just one point in my fitness journey with many more to come!